Well, hello 2010! And goodbye January!

My my, aren't you looking lovely today. 2010. I remember your older cousin, 2000. When she came along, man, life was a lot different! In 2000, I was a junior in high school. I had my life figured out, what I was going to do, who I was going to be. Lets just say, that's not what happened! 2010, you are a new era in my life. I am a completely different person than I was in 2000. And, much happier! Maybe though, you can slow down just a little bit... January is almost over, and I am still in shock that it's not 2006. I mean, it seems like that was just the other day. So... please slow down some. Thanks.

For the rest of you, sorry I'm a horrible writer. I have been super busy w/ school (work) that I just turned my laptop on for the first time in weeks. It's been feeling so neglected, that I had to whip her out and show her some attention. I hope 2010 has been good to you all, it has been for me! Mike got a new job offer yesterday (better company/benefits/etc) so we're pretty stoked. Now, it's time for me to go catch up on my blogs. Kind of like my mom's soaps, but better!

Moments

Sometimes, I'll hear a song on the radio, and it just sucks me in. A moment in the past will just hit me like a ton of bricks. Today, this happened while driving to work. I don't know the song or artist, but it was talking about being already gone. It made me think of my college relationship.

I dated him for 3 1/2 years when one day, we were over. I couldn't escape him. We lived in a small town, right around the corner from each other. We had the same friends, worked at the same restaurant, went to the same university. I transferred to another restaurant to get away. I stopped going to our "hang outs". And friends chose sides to take. I lost a lot of "friends" in the course of a month. When it was all said and done, this was a horrible, terrible experiance. It took me a year to get right. And, when I did, I knew I had to get away. I joined the Navy.

A lot of people ask me why I joined. I've always said that it was time for me to get a "big girl job." But, in all actuality, it was because I needed to leave. If I had stayed in the town, I would have never grown. I love my life now, but it has been a bit difficult to get here. I try not to think about what has happened, try to think only of what has come about because of it. I have an amazing husband and perfect little boy. But, there are those moments where it all comes back and grips my heart just a little, and makes me love my family even more.

WTF 2009???

Where in the hell did 2009 go? Just last week was New Years. I have no idea what is going on. I have a huge son who doesn't know he's only 5 months old. I'm pretty sure he is under the impression that he's a grown man.

Coming up in Feb, it will be time for me to start negotiating orders for a new command. For non-military people, I'll be figuring out where I'm going to be stationed next. So, within the next 2 months, I have to decide if I'm going to re-enlist in 2012, or just do my 6 years and get out. There's so much security being in the Navy, but it sucks being gone for months and months at a time. Now, adding a child to that is going to complicate things. On one hand, medical insurance for free. The other... being gone for ever. I have to do a lot of soul searching and figure out what is most important for my family. Since hubs doesn't have a job yet, I may end up re-enlisting. Who knows...

On a side note, Christmas is coming up and I've done my shopping for the hubs! WOOO-HOOO!! Now, I just have to do my parents/sisters/inlaws and we'll be done. I have a few weeks. Which means I'll be emailing e-gift cards on Christmas Eve. But, whatever. A present is a present, right??

Holy Jeeeesus H Christ!

Where the eff has this year gone?? It seems like I just found out I was pregnant. And then felt like the pregnancy would NEVER end. And now, I have a 4 month old angel child. WTF 2009?? Where have you gone?? I cannot believe that Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming up. For Thanksgiving this year, we're probably going to have dinner with some of Mike's friends. Either that, or volunteer at a shelter & serve lunch. For Christmas, we're not going to do a tree b/c 2 years ago, when our niece was about 6 months old, she tore into our tree. Since Michael is going to be 6 months at Christmas, we're just going to hold off on the tree this year.

We're going to be those people. However, we did do Halloween. And let me tell you, Michael was freaking adorable. He got so many compliments as the cutest little monkey you've ever seen. I couldn't have been more proud. I hope everyone had a great Halloween and ate too much candy and got very sick off all the sugar!

Things are a changing

Well, my husband starts his separation leave from the Navy in 13 days. Then, 2 months later, he's out of the Navy. Oh, man, things are a changing! He's been looking for a job now for about a month or so, but b/c his specialty is super specific, it's taking a while. If he doesn't get a job, he'll go to school and be a stay at home dad. Which, isn't going to be that bad b/c of the GI Bill. I start classes in November to finish my Bachelor's degree in computer science. Which is kind of funny b/c I know about squat on computers, but I'm only 10 classes away from my degree. Got to love the education system in America.

Baby is doing great, rolling over and talking up a storm. He LOVES bananas. He goes CRAZY for them. Not even kidding, I'm pretty sure he'd stab me for some. And apple juice. Oh man, oh man. He cries when he finishes the bottle. And his laugh. My, his laugh is enough to brighten my week. His smile is huge and contagious. He's getting so big, I don't know what to do with him anymore!

Off to take care of the baby and husband. Have a wonderful day!

Why my husband rocks.

I know, I know. Same old story, different day! I have to take time out for me, and am not that good at it. I am going to try and continue to update and post. This is my project for me. I can't let myself down!

I am on new medicine for the PPD. I just started the new stuff 2 days ago. It's what I used to take before I got pregnant, but a lot stronger now b/c of different reasons. It's making me kind of drowsy and out of it. But, it's better then being a screaming crazy person, right?

I am trying to take my time and enjoy each day with my husband and son. When my husband does something that makes me mad, I have to take a breath before I say something. I can't just automatically say what I want to. I have to, or else I will be that awful wife. I try to appreciate everything that he does for me, out of his way. He is a great husband, but sometimes I need to remind myself that he is not perfect, no matter how great and wonderful he is. He will make mistakes. He will say stuff that comes out wrong. He will do the wrong thing. But, he is amazing. He is a wonderful father. My son is lucky to have him as a father. I couldn't have asked for anything or anyone better. I have to remember how lucky I am. Because, I'm afraid that if I don't, he'll realize how crazy I am. And then, I'll be lost.

He keeps telling me that he understands. That he doesn't love me any less, or even like me any less. He is putting up with my "disorder" very well. I am really pretty lucky.

Entitlement

I am a normal 26 year old. My job isn't the same as most people, but I work for a living. I don't get things for free, I'm not sponsored. I work 10+ hours a day. I have what I have because I've earned it. That being said:
I am a huge fan of Heather Armstrong. I know that a lot of people have written pieces on her over the last few weeks. I started reading her blog a few months ago. I was looking up PPD symptoms and found her. I bought her book, and read her blog going back a few years. This was when I was on bed rest before baby was born, so I had A LOT of time to kill.
Seeing what she went through with her oldest daughter made me realize that I had to be really careful with myself for PPD. Having had anxiety problems my entire life, I figured I would be at risk.
So, no, I'm not a drone or whatever critics call her fans. I don't rush out and buy $24 mascara. (Although I do own $24 mascara, but that was from before Dooce). If she has the courage to speak her mind and make money off it, good for her!
I am not sure what all has been going on with the hate blogs, this is something new to me. I know the Monetize the Hate blog was a brilliant idea. Whether it goes for charity or not isn't the point. I think that it was awesome. There were comments from other blogs on there, and maybe she knew where they came from, maybe she didn't. They are quoted now.
The fact that the Armstrongs get to work from home is amazing. I would love to be able to do that. Would I love to endure the hate that they receive? Absolutely not. Jon and Heather are a lot stronger then I am. I'll keep my job with my little pay any day.