Tuesday, December 8, 2009


Sometimes, I'll hear a song on the radio, and it just sucks me in. A moment in the past will just hit me like a ton of bricks. Today, this happened while driving to work. I don't know the song or artist, but it was talking about being already gone. It made me think of my college relationship.

I dated him for 3 1/2 years when one day, we were over. I couldn't escape him. We lived in a small town, right around the corner from each other. We had the same friends, worked at the same restaurant, went to the same university. I transferred to another restaurant to get away. I stopped going to our "hang outs". And friends chose sides to take. I lost a lot of "friends" in the course of a month. When it was all said and done, this was a horrible, terrible experiance. It took me a year to get right. And, when I did, I knew I had to get away. I joined the Navy.

A lot of people ask me why I joined. I've always said that it was time for me to get a "big girl job." But, in all actuality, it was because I needed to leave. If I had stayed in the town, I would have never grown. I love my life now, but it has been a bit difficult to get here. I try not to think about what has happened, try to think only of what has come about because of it. I have an amazing husband and perfect little boy. But, there are those moments where it all comes back and grips my heart just a little, and makes me love my family even more.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

WTF 2009???

Where in the hell did 2009 go? Just last week was New Years. I have no idea what is going on. I have a huge son who doesn't know he's only 5 months old. I'm pretty sure he is under the impression that he's a grown man.

Coming up in Feb, it will be time for me to start negotiating orders for a new command. For non-military people, I'll be figuring out where I'm going to be stationed next. So, within the next 2 months, I have to decide if I'm going to re-enlist in 2012, or just do my 6 years and get out. There's so much security being in the Navy, but it sucks being gone for months and months at a time. Now, adding a child to that is going to complicate things. On one hand, medical insurance for free. The other... being gone for ever. I have to do a lot of soul searching and figure out what is most important for my family. Since hubs doesn't have a job yet, I may end up re-enlisting. Who knows...

On a side note, Christmas is coming up and I've done my shopping for the hubs! WOOO-HOOO!! Now, I just have to do my parents/sisters/inlaws and we'll be done. I have a few weeks. Which means I'll be emailing e-gift cards on Christmas Eve. But, whatever. A present is a present, right??