Monday, September 21, 2009

Postpartum Depression

There are times when all I want to do is hold Baby so tightly and never let go. I feel so lucky to have him, and I cannot believe that he is here. Since I was 18, I had been told that getting pregnant was not really a possibility. Due to severe endometriosis (including 2 surgeries), Hubs and I were already thinking about adopting. Then, we found out we were pregnant!
Background info: I have always dealt with anxiety. I was on Wellbutrin until I found out I was pregnant.
At the 2 week well baby check up, the nurse told me that since I had been taking Wellbutrin, I should talk to my doctor about getting back on it. Doc told me that since I was breastfeeding and Baby was only 3 weeks old at the time, if I thought I could handle not being on it, that he would prefer me to wait. So I did. And, the anxiety came back. With a side helping of depression.
Now, I've never been depressed before. However, Hubs has dealt with it as well as bipolar since his early teens. He knew what to look for. I was convinced that I was okay. I didn't want to let him down, let Baby down, let my family down. I could handle everything.
Well, I cannot. Today I was diagnosed with PPD. I am going to be taking a low dose anti-depressant and see a therapist until we can get everything under control. The medicine I am going to take is safe for breastfeeding. That was my main concern.
The next few weeks will be a trying time for me, Hubs, and Baby. Hopefully, everything will start to "normalize" and I can become me again.


Cindy said...

It's not defeat because you're owning it and seeking treatment. You will get through this and you will be better for it. I'm proud you have the courage to get help. I love you Sis!

Cindermommy said...

Hi! I stumbled on your blog via Twitter... anyway, keep your chin up. A lot of women, myself included, have some level of PPD after their baby is born. You have done well for that baby already by recognizing it and looking for help! Keep seeking treatment, and don't be afraid to talk to people! Best of luck!