There are times when all I want to do is hold Baby so tightly and never let go. I feel so lucky to have him, and I cannot believe that he is here. Since I was 18, I had been told that getting pregnant was not really a possibility. Due to severe endometriosis (including 2 surgeries), Hubs and I were already thinking about adopting. Then, we found out we were pregnant!
Background info: I have always dealt with anxiety. I was on Wellbutrin until I found out I was pregnant.
At the 2 week well baby check up, the nurse told me that since I had been taking Wellbutrin, I should talk to my doctor about getting back on it. Doc told me that since I was breastfeeding and Baby was only 3 weeks old at the time, if I thought I could handle not being on it, that he would prefer me to wait. So I did. And, the anxiety came back. With a side helping of depression.
Now, I've never been depressed before. However, Hubs has dealt with it as well as bipolar since his early teens. He knew what to look for. I was convinced that I was okay. I didn't want to let him down, let Baby down, let my family down. I could handle everything.
Well, I cannot. Today I was diagnosed with PPD. I am going to be taking a low dose anti-depressant and see a therapist until we can get everything under control. The medicine I am going to take is safe for breastfeeding. That was my main concern.
The next few weeks will be a trying time for me, Hubs, and Baby. Hopefully, everything will start to "normalize" and I can become me again.