Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Random thoughts

Since returning back to work, I have struggled emotionally with pumping for Baby. I hate pumping. It is almost degrading to sit there and be "milked" like a dairy cow. However, it is for the best for Baby. This week, though, I haven't been pumping as much. It's that time of the month, and I had an IUD insertion. The change of hormones was not good for the supply, so I started taking More Milk Plus capsules and also drinking an herbal tea that is for the production. It has helped a little, but I am still nervous about not being able to provide enough milk for him. It has started stressing me out a little.
Then, the thought of not being able to nurse him breaks my heart. I couldn't imagine not being able too. I have written about it previously, and am not going to write more on that subject. I am still at work and don't want to have to explain why I have tear stains down my face.
Hubs and I talked about the lack of milk situation last night. He is convinced that it will normal out this week, and all will be good. We did decide that if I cannot keep up, we will start mixing breast milk and formula to make a full bottle, but I will continue to pump. I am up to about 5 pumping sessions during the work day and 1-2 at night, depending on how Baby sleeps.
It is discouraging, and I cannot help but be sad and upset. I will hopefully start to regulate better because it is causing me to loose sleep thinking about it.
But, on a brighter note, Baby is doing great. He's sleeping some nights all the way through, and others not so much.
Last night, he slept for 6 hours straight and then decided the rest of the night/morning he needed to be a little turd muffin. (I say that with the utmost amount of love possible!) On top of that, Hubs has been having sinus problems for the last 2 days. Which means he is dying. He doesn't deal well with sickness. The problem is, at 3:30 in the morning, after I had been up for 2 hours, I asked him to try and put the baby back to sleep since I had to be up in 1 hour and had only slept for 3 at that point. He was not to happy, but he did. Now, he has been talking about how he didn't get any sleep, blah blah blah. I reminded him that not only did he get a lot more sleep then me, I had to get up and pump in the middle of the night on top of feeding Baby.
Wow, this post has completely gone in a different direction I was thinking about.
Maybe I can be more focused next time. Maybe next time I will have 7 straight hours of sleep behind me!

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